Ms. Z

Everyone in the family’s out, attending events. And bcuz I can’t drive, I’m stuck at home. And I don’t have anyone to spend time with bcuz I can’t go out.

I feel quite loserish to be honest.

Now I’m imagining my future, being all alone. All I feel like doing is daydreaming (at night) about being with the guy of my dreams.

Am I… Depressed? Hahaha.

And suddenly I’m Yours comes on tv. Urgh. Happy songs and movies (even the ones i actually like) are pissing me off.

What the hell am I gonna do with myself?

because i’m bored and procrastinating.

1. taken. we make each other happy most of the time :P
2. in 10 years i’ll probably still be teaching. maaaaybe lecturing, if i feel like it. we’ll see how it goes. :)
3. unless for medical reasons, a waste of time & money.
4. religion might be restrictive in some sense, but i like some boundaries. it keeps me grounded, keeps me sane. i may not be the most religious person out there, but i pray that i’ll die as a true muslim. ameen.
5. just some stupid times. never would do it tho. no way jose.
6. 30? damn. i don’t think i can
7. in many ways i do think it fits my personality… not that i believe in it :T
8. it’s impossible to pinpoint only ONE moment… so, not in order: when i get good grades. when ppl show me they love me. when i get hugged. when i have icecream on a good day. when my bank statement’s looking good. when i look good. when i do sthg to support a cause. etc
9. full of love, happiness, positivity. i hope i forgive myself for my stupidities of the past, and continue growing as a person. i hope i’ll be wiser and more spiritual. i want to help my family, friends, the world. i want to be useful for others. 
10. i think my first love was when i was 15. didn’t turn out very well. can’t remember first kiss. with parents i suppose?
11. metallica - the unforgiven, switchfoot - the golden, john lennon - imagine, outlandish - into my eyes, bachelor girl - buses & trains, beirut - brandenburg, lindsay lohan - confessions of a broken heart, moi dix mois - the prophet, the fratellis - ole black n blue eyes, takacha - movin!! (haha i love how these are of completely different genres)
12. watched kdrama; went to cheap store to buy yarn; hung out with bf; bought some groceries; made chicken rice; slept; blog;
13. japan, venice, greece, mecca, south nz. for short stays tho.
14. bouncing around at the kindergarten playground
15. far too many. just check out the people i follow
16. right now - mostly boring, unoriginal, over(t)ly+cloyingly sexual, promoting superficiality
17. high: went to quite a number of places around this island; low: none that i can think of so far.
18. be peaceful, be kind, be humble. be understanding, be courageous, be passionate. be forgiving, be hopeful, be happy. and most of all, have faith. in God, others and yourself.
19. i generally believe that respect is a 2-way street, but it’s important to respect and care for those who cared for you, especially if they gave all their blood, sweat and tears for your happiness and comfort.
20. love, faith and education are three of the most potent things one needs to be successful in life. and by success, i mean happiness and a sense of peace. however w/o education there’ll probably be no chance of achieving love and faith… so education’s probably the most crucial element to life. at least imo.
21. don’t really follow tv shows… but i do like some j+kdramas. at the top of my head, hanakimi’s alright. and personal taste is ok. for western stuff i guess i’m into big bang.
22. wow. well. yeah, quite a lot has changed i think. i think i’ve changed my views about quite a number of things. like atheism, politics, dealing with stubborn people (myself included). also have changed in terms of appearance and dressing. i think i’ve also changed in the way i see others and myself.. or at least the way i see myself seeing others and myself. if that makes any sense.
23. a variety of sorts, from creamy offwhites to dark choc: kim hyun joong; teppei koike; zizan nin; dwayne jonhson aka the rock; damon wayans jr/sr. :P
24. oh god, ONE fav movie? geez. umm. one of it i suppose is ‘in bruges’. very beautiful scenery, lovely dark humor, interesting plotline. not the typical stuff i normally watch, but yeah. it’s about a pair of hitmen who goes to bruges for a(n killing) assignment. other stuff ensues (hah, enjoy that vagueness :P)
25. i’m fascinated by people who change the world for the better. people who want to make the world a better place for everyone, who just don’t stop giving. i want their passion, courage, and determination.
26. people with a friendly smile that makes you wanna give them an infinite amount of hugs and/or kisses. and people with a sense of humor similar to mine (especially puns - hee~). people with nice, hearty laughs and exude a very friendly, trustworthy, peaceful aura. people who are kind to every living being, regardless of whether people are watching. and people with similar interests as mine, really. 
27. money problems? like, all the time? haha
28. being naive and trusting others wholeheartedly (and getting away with it). 
29. study and do well on assignments, travel+visit some friends (yay!), enjoy the season, lounge around, work a lil, watch plenty of j+k-dramas… misc fun/lame stuff
30. low: wishing i can disappear; high: cooking with the bf at least once a week. i love eating with someone else. especially with people i love. makes me really happy. :)

Thank you for the interesting and insightful post.  It’s always wonderful to read a different perspective to that which the western media presents.  -tattooeddoll.

• You’re welcome. I just felt like letting out some steam that’s been inside my head for a while now. Tbh I’m quite surprised that people read through that ridiculously long rambling, haha. I’m not a good writer, but I am passionate about feminism and hijab-wearing, and I just want to let it be known that women can support both - it’s not a mutually exclusive thing. Thanks again for reading. Have a great weekend! :)